About snail mail

A write-more-letters letter

I’ve been thinking about letters. About postcards and snail mail in general. How we used to send postcards home to friends whenever we were on summer vacation in a different country. How we used to have penpals.

I miss the feeling of looking out the window waiting for the postman to arrive. The fast, eager walk to the mailbox, hoping there’s an envelope with stamps and my name written on it by hand. I never get mail like that anymore.

My grandma has always been big on sending postcards. When I lived in a different city, she used to mail me something once in a while. A short greeting wishing me a good week or letting me know if she was doing anything special. She still stops by with a “happy weekend” card, but she hand-delivers now. She’s the prime example of how a few words or a simple sentence can mean a lot.

Because that’s the thing. We often think we need to write something important, or that it needs to be long and meaningful if we should even bother doing it. That we can’t send a simple three word I-miss-you letter. But we can. And we should.

We can send surprise letters, apology letters, love letters, life update letters, one sentence letters, hope-you-have-a-nice-day letters, this-made-me-think-of-you letters, remember-that-time-when letters, I-love-you-to-infinity-and-beyond letters.

Just the fact that someone sat down with pen and paper. Thought about every single word. Maybe even made a draft. Went to the post office. Paid for a stamp. No matter if it’s just a few sentences or a simple “I love you.” It’s so much more impactful than a text message, even if the content is the same.

You really have to think about what you want to say when you write by hand and have limited space. You have to think about where the comma goes and skip a lot of the filler words. Choose carefully. Be clear. You don’t want to wait a month only to get a “Wait, what did you mean by that?” back.

I remember reading an article saying snail mail was dying. People didn’t prioritise it anymore. It took too much work and effort and patience. But I like to believe that people secretly miss it. That there are lots of people who would love to have a penpal these days.¹ To buy cute stationery. Wait excitingly by the mailbox. Care. To both make new friends and stay in touch with old ones without the pressure of instant replies.

And people keep letters. They hang postcards on their bedroom walls. They treasure them. Some are even passed down through generations. But few people really save emails. They don’t print out text messages and keep them in a pretty box. They just get buried under new memes and links and “You free to hang this Friday?”

Yes, the digital words have been equally written by that person, but they haven’t actually held the paper in their hands. They haven’t crossed out misspellings or made little doodles. Their fingerprints aren’t all over it. There’s no lingering perfume on the envelope.

I remember how fun it was getting letters from my penpal abroad. To get insights into her reality and country, and to notice how it wasn’t really all that different from my own. We stopped corresponding after a while – or rather, she never responded to my last letter – which I have no hard feelings for, by the way, things fade and we grow.

But I think that’s the tricky part when it comes to that type of communication. It does take more effort and patience, making everything more vulnerable and precious. It can be difficult to end if you don’t feel like keeping up or simply don’t vibe with that person anymore. It isn’t as easy as liking someone’s message or replying with an emoji when you feel done with the conversation. But maybe that’s a good thing.

It’s great if you manage to find a person you feel like having an endless, slow conversation with. One with handwriting you understand and interests you find interesting too. One who speaks your language, both literally and figuratively.

But short and sweet can be incredibly rewarding too. Someone for this year, for this phase in life. Someone who understands you right here, right now. As it is with all relationships: it may not be a forever, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be wonderful while it lasts.

So write the letter, send the postcard, don’t overthink it. Care.

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1. If you’re actually interested in finding a penpal, reply or send me a personal message on twitter — maybe I can play match maker and set some people up (as safely as possible of course, and if there’s enough interest).